When's the Bris?
by tronik
Summary: Poor Maxwell...It's all I can say. Don't sue me.
1. Chapter 1

**After the episode 'the unkindest cut' I had a funny thought that kept nagging me to share. I have no intention of causing a debate so please don't flame me, I am merely being curious…tinged with a little smartass. ;) Oh, This story actually takes place shortly after the wedding but doesn't really tie into the story line…the flashback is the reference to the above episode.**

"So, Darling." Maxwell began nervously as he pulled at his suddenly too tight tie. "Since we are now married I expect there will be a Bris ceremony upcoming in the near future?"

"Ooh, Mistah Sheffield…Oops sorry, old habits." Fran giggled at her slip up and guided him to one of the private benches outside of the reception hall. "I think I heard my Mother in there. You trying to give me babies so soon, Sweetie?"

"Uh, no." He chuckled more than just a little confused. "I just married a Jewish woman."

"And I just married a very confusing man." Fran's eyes gazed at him with a frown and became worried the moment she noticed him fidgeting outwardly. "Honey, usually it's the bride that gets cold feet. What gives?"

_"Come on, Brighton!" Nanny Fine yelled up the stairs. "We're gonna be late for the Bris now Chop Chop!"_

_ Instantly she realized her very bad pun while Mr. Sheffield was opening the door for her. She chuckled at him when she saw the color nearly draining from his face at the idea of sharp objects cutting into extremely sensitive areas. Oh, how could she resist the chance to make him squirm?_

_ "Y'know," She grinned at Mr. Sheffield evilly and with a flip of her hair, she continued. "If you evah marry a Jewish woman, the hotdog has to lose the bun."_

_ She left the poor man at the door in a near state of trauma, holding a hand protectively over his precious package aghast that he would have lose such a painful part of himself._

Fran nearly doubled over in laughter at the memory, her husband getting angrier by the minute at her blatant insensitivity. How could she even think about laughing at him when he was seriously considering doing this painstaking ritual all for her!

"MISS, FINE!" Maxwell growled at the top of his lungs and he jumped off the seat. "How dare you laugh at me about this! The fact that I would even CONSIDER chopping off half of my penis for you and you think it's FUNNY!"

"No, Honey!" Fran exclaimed as she pulled his hand to make him sit back down beside her. "I would nevah make you do that! I was only joking."

"You mean? But you're Jewish-" Nothing could stop the stuttering from Maxwell as he was confused and relived at the same time.

"Oy!" Fran groaned and slapped her forehead with her palm. "No wonder you said you loved me and took it back. It's oddly sweet in a morbid way that you would do that for me but For the Love of Barbra, I eat pork in the temple parking lot. There's no way I'm letting you do that."

"It's not a requirement?" He asked almost unsure of himself.

"For some." She answered. "But not for me. Trust me, Honey. It's hard on a baby and he doesn't remember it five years latah. You'd be in agony for weeks and I'd be put in a mental institution waiting for you to let me touch you….aftah the calluses formed. Excuse me but I'm not gonna wait for us to make love in five more years."

"I love you so much, Fran." He breathed finally as relief and lightness took over his whole body. He hugged her and even though he knew he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, he just had to ask. "Why is it no longer required?"

"You're no more kosher with it than you are without it." Fran explained as best as she could. "It's one of those things that was meant to be there. Turns out it actually protects my little Maxwell."

"Which begs the next question," He began with a rather curious grin but almost coyly. "Have you ever been with a man who hasn't been, uhm, circumcised?"

"Why, Maxwell! Hoo-hoo!" Fran gushed in her usual flirty demeanour. "Aren't you curious. Do you know how much of a commodity an uncircumcised male is this day and age? You will be happy to know you will be my first. Just what I need, a head full of hot air. Don't get too cocky…No pun intended. Hoo-Haa!"

He could only chuckle at her antics as the puns flew out of her mouth left and right. In all seriousness, he thanked whatever deity that was watching him this very moment that he didn't have to go through with this. He gazed at Fran with a grin and found himself wanting to kiss those grinning lips very much. It was wonderful to be able to finally act upon this want without having any undesirable consequences. He leaned forward and took that pouty bottom lip of hers between his own, gently suckling and caressing. She returned his affection winding her fingers in his dark hair, keeping him close to her. Her belly jumped with butterflies inside even though she wanted nothing more than to get closer to him at that very moment.

"So tell me," Fran asked huskily as she pulled her lips away from his. "Is it true? Is the 'y'know' bettah?"

"I'm really not sure." Maxwell chuckled more as he lowered his voice. "Only one woman has been able to say it was and Sara was a virgin before me. Sara and I were rather young when we were married."

"Let's say we go find out, right now?" Fran smiled into his lips.

In a split second, Maxwell had her by the hand running up the stairs of the hotel rearing to find them a room of sorts…..


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, I've tried to do some research on this topic before attempting to write it so I can get a small idea of uncut vs cut sex. I'm only writing my imagination and simply pondering on a subject. It was scary seeing how much debate there was online about this topic and if anyone must voice an opinion just please, I ask that you be nice. Don't bash me, ok? BTW, where the heck are my reviews? ;P**

Maxwell slammed the solid pine door shut with Fran's back as he was glued to her in a very heated embrace; her legs wrapped round his waist and his hands tangled in her long black hair as they kissed quite amorously. How they managed to become so entangled together with her rather detailed gown was absolutely a mystery that neither could answer. His hands were becoming idle as they ventured to areas such as her waist, ribs, and back finding no bare skin but the silk material of said gown that was serving to be a greater prison for that luxurious body of hers. He didn't have much patience then and he craved bare skin. Hers. He knew in his heart she would feel exquisitely soft, warm and flawless. If only there was one simple snap that could make the dress fall at her feet. Maxwell shivered when he felt her fingers twining in his hair and her nails lightly scraping his scalp. This prompted him to lightly flick his tongue on her bottom lip just before drawing it into his mouth in a sense of burgeoning hunger.

_'STOP!'_ A little voice in the back of his head yelled in a halting manner as he slowly came around to the image before him. He knew he should wait a few hours at least until they were officially on their honeymoon. Really, they waited a number of years for this. What harm would a few hours do? Maxwell backed up a little as he pulled away from her lips lightly and he had steeled himself against his fleeting self control. He took an instant look in her black pools and saw a determination which he had no true strength to resist.

"I don't think so, Mistah." Fran spoke softer than she usually did and grabbed his tuxedo covered rear to push him into her forcefully to emphasize the fact that he was going nowhere but forward. "You made me wait long enough for this."

"But Darling." Maxwell began as he lightly kissed her cheek. "Wouldn't you rather wait to be on the boat where everything is set just perfectly and everything is just….right."

"Look around, Sweetie." Fran gestured toward the four poster king-sized bed, the classically ornate furnishings, the large bouquet of roses on the small table in the middle of the room and the door to the bathroom hiding god knows what fancy-schmancy amenities. "I think it's safe to say we are in a pretty decent place right now and quite frankly, I'd take ya anywhere I could get ya!"

"Well, You aren't wrong." He conceded as he took in Fran's observations.

"Besides," Fran began another explanation. "When we get on that boat I want to be able to get every square inch of ya….and vice versa. I don't know about you but our first time togetha ain't gonna be that slow."

Grinning devilishly with a typical Fran Fine chuckle, she released her stronghold on the poor man who's self control was shot and walked away towards the bed making damned sure that he could see her behind sauntering away. Well, as much as he could in this now proclaimed ridiculous gown. He watched her flick the buttons and zippers off the gown just before she stepped out of it clad in only her matching lace bra and panty set along with the white heels on her feet, which she kicked off in a hurry. She held his gaze as she observed that he seemed to be in a sort of shell shock at seeing some parts of her for the first time. Sure he had seen her in a bikini before but that was when he understood that he wasn't allowed to touch. Now he had exclusive rights to this beautiful body that stood a couple feet away from him.

"You gonna help me mess up this bed or what?" She grinned as a smokey haze fell over her expression.

She chuckled when he bolted into action tearing off his clothes and walking towards her at the same time, nearly tripping over his pants. She met him halfway assisting him with his dress shirt and the boxers while he swiftly made away with her bra and panties. She bit her lip the moment she saw his wonderfully bare chest and shoulders, not overtly muscled nor ridiculously thin. Just perfect and she slid her hands over the smooth skin skimming across his sensitive nubs. She could only move lower despite the shiver in his body. It was her turn to squirm in the heat as her hands reached his hips so very near to a rather large part of the object of her desire for the time being. Her lips formed an 'O' just before she gulped as her fingers lightly fluttered down to touch his impressive length.

_'Oy.'_ Her mind uttered and she could feel a wetness in her core, responding to his own arousal. _'Oh my…How do I..?'_

Well, excuse her but the only thing she had ever seen was a man without all the trimmings. Suddenly she felt as though she took a flight back in time to the awkwardness of losing her virginity only this time she wasn't at a Kibbutz in Israel. She almost went into a deer in headlights mode as she looked up at Maxwell who was too stunned to really notice her troubles. She flushed in embarrassment on top of arousal as her breathing was coming out in near pants and it took him a moment to register the fact that she was just a little lost.

_'Oh God!' _Her mind reeled before Maxwell took her shaking hands and kissed each of her fingers, suckling them.

"Not now." He breathed heavily as he attempted to pull her into him. "This will be over before it begins if you touch that."

"Just a little?" Fran wasn't above begging but she seriously thought she was contradicting her awkwardness as she wasn't sure how to literally handle him. It made her feel a million times more at ease when he guided her hands down to him, showing her exactly how to do just that. In her discoveries she felt herself losing much of her restraint. He was honestly so very different, hard but incredibly soft at the same time. He was a little smoother and honestly, felt a little closer like her female anatomy. He held her hands that were wrapped around his hardness moving them in the same up and down motions. She watched his eyes darken into a brilliant green of arousal while the forbidden skin pulled over the pink head and back to expose him. The Jewish taboo was making her hotter than hell and for some reason, saddled with an insane sense of pride as though she was the first in her line to discover some sort of hidden treasure. She knew she had to have him deep inside of her to feel him and the uniqueness of Maxwell. How would he feel?

She really didn't want to stop touching him but if she didn't she would never have him inside of her as she wanted badly. Her heart throbbed at the mere thought of it. Thank heavens he took her hands away himself and walked her into the bed so she would be flat on her back with him on top.

He kissed her lips with a very renewed sense of passion as he drew them into his mouth, then he trailed his lips down her neck. He was hungry for her and she sizzled beneath him breaking out in goosebumps with every kiss he took lower. He licked the valley of her breasts and moved up to take a hardened nipple in his mouth suckling as she arched into him with a moan.

"Feels so good." She sighed as she felt the rippling effect his mouth on her breast had on her core below. He moved on quickly as he really had no means of controlling himself at this point. When he was down at the dip in her hipbone moving closer to the inside of her thigh she really had a time trying to keep herself from panting.

Maxwell was filled with gratification at realizing just how responsive she was to him and his ministrations. He honestly wasn't sure how good he would be at this seeing as it had been a while. He must have been doing something right if he could smell her arousal while he was down upon her thigh. Upon observation he could see just how wet and slick she really was. This broke him as he knew by instinct that he just had to taste her and with that his tongue was on her center, licking from bottom to top with the flat of his tongue.

"Ah! Max!" Fran whimpered as she nearly leapt up to the ceiling at the surprising sensations he plundered down on her. She ran her fingers in his hair almost pulling at him to bring him up to her. He did not heed her physical demands as he took her wrists, ensnaring them on the bed at her sides. She wrung her fingers in the crisp sheets as he zeroed in on her clit alternating from suckling to licking and her toes began to curl. She could feel that familiar tightening in her belly and she realized she had better get him back up to her if she wanted to do this with him inside of her first.

"Oh, God, Stop!" She moaned nearly in convulsions. "Please, get up here now! I can't take it anymore!"

He wasted no time as he gently spread her legs apart and settled into her. He was face to face with his wife who's cheeks were now flushed a light pinkish and her eyes mirroring his own arousal. He kissed her mouth and she could taste herself upon his lips. She never imagined that she would taste pleasant but this act from him was turning her on to no end. Her hips bucked into him feeling his penis slipping through the cleft of her folds so close to being inside. They both gasped at the intimate touch of skin on skin and Max decided that he really didn't wish to end this right at that moment. He stroked her several times with his erection until she was just about ready to lose her mind.

"Maaaaax! Now." Fran whined unjustly and he reached down to pull her hips into him as he plunged inside of her firmly not quite prepared for the onslaught of the sensations.

"Oh God, Fran." Max moaned into her neck as he stopped to accommodate their bodies to this completely new side of each other. "You feel amazing."

Meanwhile Fran found herself speechless at the newness of Maxwell deep inside of her, ready to finish her off at any moment. Hell, she almost felt the urge to yell at someone that she finally managed to get this man inside of her all these years.

_'Yes. Yes. Yes. YES!' _Her mind screamed at her as her hips arched up to him on their own accord bringing his own into play.

Fran wrapped her legs around his waist, heels practically digging in his ass to keep him inside as they moved in sync. Something was invariably different with his movements, not that she had much experience to draw from but something was definitely unalike what she was accustomed to. Not that it wasn't turning her on. Holy Hell, it was more than that. In her own words, she was getting blown away like never before. Perhaps it was the mere understanding that she had finally gotten the one she had yearned for and loved from afar for so long. Maybe it was the newness of it all and a love she had never experienced with anyone else. In her mind that was a good part of it but something felt physically different for sure.

"Max?" Fran all but squeaked as he thrust into her further and harder as he kissed her neck with an open mouth, his breath hitting her over sensitized skin.

"Fran?" He relayed back to her as he rolled his hips into hers hard, the tip of his penis stroking her g-spot while his pelvis continually brushed her clit.

"Hu-uh!" A moan mingled with a hitch erupted from her lips once her brain made the connection to her physical self telling her just how different sex was with this man. He mind spun a few thoughts despite the hot sensations zinging across her body of nerves. "So soft and…oohh! Hard. Sooo easy, Aaah! Max! MAX!"

Fran was a little louder to the average person and Max guessed her noise level during sex would only be amplified so he quickly covered her mouth with his as if to swallow her noises with his deepened kisses. He had never known any one to respond so keenly to him as he could clearly see he was throwing her out of control. Her kisses were less controlled, open mouthed at times or just plain close to devouring him. They were those slightly sloppy ones borne out of lust longing.

Max continued his rhythmic thrusting at an almost controlled rate which oddly enough was getting her there faster than anything. She loved what he was doing and didn't change a goddamned inch of his pattern, God bless him! She loved a man caught up in passion just as Max was at that very moment with his stattaco breath and eyes closed, taking it all in. But she hated the unsteady movements that always interrupted her impending orgasm as it was with her limited other experiences. She also wasn't too keen on the lack of closeness before. His strokes were short and jolted deep inside of her while his body remained almost flush with hers. He didn't need to pull out so far and ram back in nor did he seem to want to.

Just as she was close to falling over the edge, Maxwell firmly grasped her legs ensuring they remained locked around his waist so he would stay inside of her as he flipped her up and around so that he sat at the edge of the bed with her on top; sitting in his lap. She wasn't very happy that he had interrupted her while teetering on the very edge of what seemed to be a very good orgasm if her fluttering belly was any good indication.

_'Goddamnit!' _Her mind spewed as a disdainful whine fell from her lips. "Maaaax! What the hell are ya doin?"

"Trying to make you come, Darling." He answered as his hands held her back as her hair brushed over his arms and he rocked into her, watching the display of emotions play over her face.

"I was there." She deadpanned just before she felt the surprising tingling and hot coiling sensation boiling at the pit of her belly once more in response to that wonderful angle.

"So was I." He chuckled as he nipped lightly at her breasts that were in front of him. "You first….(kiss)…at least twice….(kiss)…or more."

"Ooh, Maxwell! Are you good in bed or what." She giggled jokingly as he fingers brushed through his hair, clearly showing her enthusiasm by rolling into him deeper. "Aaah! Max!"

Despite the chattiness Fran quickly felt that she was coming back to the plateau she was once at in a whirlwind out of nowhere. At this point she burned when all instinct took over the pair of them. Their movements were steady yet completely uncontrolled as Max thrust up inside of her, brushing past those warm and velvety walls that were trembling around him as though it were reaching something beyond comprehensible.

"Just a little more! (gasp!) Uugh!" Fran encouraged him with her words and she knew it would only take a little. Just a little. So close. Just a few more thrusts. As though someone threw the brakes on a race car speeding down a hill, Fran stiffened as she arched backward with a near scream painted over her face, expressing complete abandon.

"Gha! MA-AX! Aagh!" She moaned out his name jumbled in a series of nonsensical noises as she fell apart around him, milking him with the convulsions deep inside of her.

He tried to keep hold of himself until she was back to Earth but the divine sensation of having her massaging his cock internally was like trying to hold Sylvia Fine from the impulse to eat. Actually thinking of her mother staved him off perfectly well. Trying to catch her elusive breath, Fran fell forward head upon his chest somewhat exhausted. Regardless, more was sounding very good to her still fluttering core.

Max turned her back down so that she was beneath him once again, sure that she was going to come quickly this time. He snared her hands down by her sides as he ground himself inside of her, stroking her clit upon each upward thrust. She didn't disappoint as he felt the tell tale fluttering once again turn to a more intense tightening.

"Aaaaah!" Fran sobbed unable to truly force loud noises from her lungs as her back bowed once again into him. She felt her heartbeat pounding through her ribcage and her pulse throbbing in a multitude of places throughout her body as she knew she was becoming even tighter around him. It wasn't making her sore but it was so far up the pleasure scale that she was about ready to cry.

He wasn't done yet as he continued with his thrusts almost tearing apart at the seams himself at the feel of her gripping him insanely tighter than before and it didn't stop.

"Shit!" Max cursed as he realized that he was not going to be able to hold off any longer. "You're so tight, Fran."

"Max, Baby. Please come." Fran sucked in a breath of air almost certain that if he didn't soon, they would become stuck together at the rate she was going.

The sound of her voice nearly begging him pushed him over the brink and she could feel him tremble inside of her just before he came.

"Ah! God, FRAN!" He shouted with a roaring bellow as he spilt his hot seed within her, coating them.

She could feel the liquid heat searing her insides like molten lava which threw her into one last strong orgasm before he fell flaccid from her.

They both held onto each other in the bed, exhausted from their exertions yet basking in the afterglow of their, finally, first time. Had Fran had her way it would have been a hell of a lot sooner. They were both delighted to have done this so that they would have the time to properly explore each other's bodies on the honeymoon. Right now, it was time to take a small nap before it was time to go begin their adventures as newlyweds. Yes, a nap sounded exquisite right about then.

"Max?" Fran called to a sleepy Maxwell.

"Yes?"

"No ones gettin near my boy's penis with sharp objects." Fran muttered with a megawatt grin attached to her face as she looked up into Max's eyes. "Best I evah had."


End file.
